You’d think I’d know by now not to be suckered in by a name. For far too long, I bought Red Delicious apples because I (naively) assumed they were delicious. I went right on buying them, for years, thinking the fault in finding them UNdelicious was mine. I couldn’t understand why people carried on in general about how wonderful apples were, how sweet, how juicy. I ate the Red Delicious apples only because I thought I should, waiting for the day they’d make good on their name.
Then came a time I noticed there were other, albeit less promisingly named apples available, and I bought some. Oh my gracious! What a difference! These apples were actually good. I WANTED to eat them. Gala, McIntosh, Jonagold, Fuji. Who knew?! And not a one of them claimed to be “delicious” and yet they were far superior. I never bought a stinkin’ Red Delicious again.
You’d think I might have learned. But last year I was taken in by the frozen vegetable brand “Pictsweet©.” Says right there in the name they were picked sweet. Can’t get much clearer than that! And there were fetching vegetable photos on the bright red bags too! Look how delicious they look! So I bought a couple bags of okra and broccoli, two of my favorites (having only been introduced to okra about 3 years ago). My mouth watered. Guess what? They were disgusting. Not even average, but just yicky. Now I imagine they have their fans, but I kind of wonder if people are just trying to convince themselves, as I did with ye old Red Delicious, that they really are “picked sweet” – it says so! – no matter how they actually taste.
This better be the end of this. No more being taken in on a name. Brand it The Most Tasty, Fresh, Scrupdiddlyumptious, Mouthwatering, Succulent Food You Have Ever Had In Your Whole Measily, Forsaken Life© and I shall look away, unmoved. Hopefully.