Tag Archives: humor

Meet your neighbors on Facebook!

This is my interpretation of how posts on my community’s largest Facebook group read:

ADMIN: These are your neighbors. Let’s be civil here and not say anything you wouldn’t say when meeting them in the grocery store. …

PERSON: Is anyone a notary?

PERSON: I walked around the lake and hardly anyone was wearing masks. Why isn’t this being enforced?! …
267 comments.

PERSON A: My cat, Mr. Cornelius, got out last night. He’s gray with a white front left paw. Please keep an eye out for him.
PERSON B: Put his litter box outside.
PERSON C: Prayers for his safe return!

PERSON: Here’s some pretty photos of flowers.

PERSON: Our community needs to address its racist issues. Systemic racism must be rooted out so that everyone is treated equally and fairly.
389 comments.

PERSON: I found toilet paper at Target!!
47 comments.

PERSON: I heard a loud noise last night. Did anyone else hear it?? It scared me half to death!
87 comments

PERSON: We’re having a rally to support the police. Our police are wonderful and hard-working.
215 comments.

PERSON: Can anyone recommend a child care provider?

PERSON: There is so much intolerance and attacks on this group. I thought this was a nice community but I guess I was wrong. I’m thinking of leaving the group.
370 comments.

PERSON: I’m starting another group. Come join us at …

PERSON: Here’s some pretty photos of flowers.

PERSON A: My dog Susie is an escape artist and got out the gate again. Please look for her and call me on my cell but don’t approach her because she’s very skittish.
PERSON B: I think I saw her on Main Street.
PERSON C: Prayers for her safe return!

PERSON: This group is joke. Lib-tards control it.
517 comments.

PERSON: Did you lose a cat? I have been feeding a striped cat and it’s very friendly.

PERSON A: Does the grocery store have Pringles Pizza Flavored Chips in yet?
PERSON B: Oooooh, I LOVE those!!!!πŸ’Ÿ
PERSON C: No way, they SUCK.

PERSON: Here’s some photos of pretty birds.

PERSON: This area costs way too much!!! And everyone is unfriendly. I thought this was nice place but i guess I wrong. I want to move away.
600 comments.

PERSON A: Could people share their experiences with We-Do-Cheap-Work-Good construction company? Please answer by pm, TIA.
PERSON B: They are very professional and do wonderful work. I am so happy with my addition.
PERSON C: THOSE $%&@# PEOPLE ARE CRIMINALS AND SHOULD BE LOCKED UP!!!!! DO NOT USE!!!! THEY BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN AND DROPPED A STEEL BEAM ON MY NEW TRUCK!!! THEY MADE A COMPLETE MESS AND REFUSED TO TAKE CARE OF THE DAMAGES!!!! I THINK THEY STOLE MY CAT!!!! WE ARE SUING!!! DO NOT USE!!!!

PERSON: We’re having a yard sale to support BLM.
67 comments.

PERSON: Here’s some pretty photos of flowers.

ADMIN: Let’s be civil here…

Short Thought #259 (enforcing masks)

On our community Facebook pages people argue routinely. The coronavirus has provided more fodder. The wearing of masks (or not) is a hot button particularly whether people should wear them at the lake park. It’s been mandated that they must by our city council but apparently many are not and the rule isn’t being enforced. I’m thinking an officer on horseback with a stun gun.😁

Employees who don’t complain

I was looking at women’s swimsuits on Amazon when I spotted an odd model amidst the many lovely, young, thin ladies pictured. No, she wasn’t transgendered, plus-size, or otherwise differently oriented, she was a dummy. Wait – strike that – she was a movement-challenged inanimate human form.

Things heard on the radio

I was doing a somewhat repetitive project for a few hours the other day so I had the radio on as background. Two child-related ads caught my attention, one directly related to kids (the other less so).

Did you know that you can buy sleep medication for children? I didn’t. I guess I probably knew certain cold or flu products might be indicated for sleep but this was a product intended only for sleep. The voice-over included a child asking for “one more story” at bed-time. There was a time when this would have made a great SNL skit:

“Susie and Johnnie won’t go to sleep at night? Do they keep asking for one more story or another drink of water? Well, worry no more! Just slip them a nighty-night pill in their milk at dinner and you’ll hear no more whining or tolerate rambunctious behavior come bed time!”

Sure, I’ve made fun, but truly, the idea of sleep medication for children IS troubling to me. It could be abused by adults looking to settle their kids down without the pesky tasks inherent in parenting. And, I can’t help but think if a child is having trouble sleeping, something else is probably amiss. Yes, many, many adults have sleep issues and take medications of one sort or another but whether you agree that’s a good idea or not, it’s still different for an adult to make that choice than for a child to be given sleep meds, all the more so if it’s just for normal kid-resistance to going to bed which is what this particular ad implied. I wonder if a child who takes medications to induce sleep is always going to be reliant on them, if not physically, psychologically, even later in life?

I had a friend, a smart person, with sleep issues who claimed insomnia was a “disease.” That didn’t sound right to me at all and I remember at the time looking into it and finding information that said insomnia didn’t exist 100 years ago. That is very telling. Living like people did 100 years ago, with all that entailed, does not sound like fun, but I can’t help but think that it couldn’t hurt to try to replicate at least a few of the habits that made sleeping naturally a routine part of life, starting very young.

The other ad was for the TV show Jeopardy. The voice-over said the show was for “mature audiences.” What? I’m not a regular viewer but I’ve watched the show and that caveat surprised me. Was there a law suit? Complaints? I can’t think what would elicit that warning. Particularly framed against EVERYTHING ELSE kids view. Googling the topic didn’t provide any answers. Racy Jeopardy? At 7:30pm? If it WAS, I might be a more regular viewer.