Monthly Archives: April 2017

I always wanted one

It’s true. I have always wanted a pink flamingo. They always struck me funny. However, I really couldn’t see spending money on one. In recent years they even started showing up at Dollar Tree, small ones, seasonally, and still I held off. Till the other day. I saw those flamingoes, a bunch of them, but only one had “legs” with it. All the other flamingoes were legless which sort of defeats the point. A hanging flamingo just wouldn’t be the same.

I took it as a sign that I should have my pink flamingo.

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He is standing next to mint to give you a sense of his diminutive stature

The “instruction” were interesting too. Since my “stick” were not stuck in the front as illustrated but in two side-by-side holes on the bottom, I was so confused! I could hardly assemble the thing from these complicated instructions.

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Overheard

I was in a store yesterday and heard a woman talking on her phone to another woman, probably a friend. I hear people yammering on phones everywhere I go so this sure wasn’t an unusual situation. However, the woman was clearly audible and came closer to me so I couldn’t miss what she was saying. They were talking about men and their relationships with them. The woman in the store was suggesting her friend’s practice and error, was “making men husbands”. She said it twice. Her friend must have fired back or bristled in some way because the woman replied memorably. In fact I stopped right there (she was out of eyesight) and got out a pen and paper – something I think about doing and never do – and wrote it down.

I been married once honey. And truthfully had I known him a little longer it would have been zero. He slid in there. He got lucky.

Roasted Vegetables (part two)

I shared my easy Roasted Vegetables here. This is a somewhat different version (in cooking/eating I find you got to mix things up to keep yourself interested, at least I do).

I used chopped carrots, sliced mushrooms, a cut up green pepper, sliced red and white onions, cut up potatoes, and green beans.

I have to show you these green beans because they were the most beautiful, fresh ones I’d seen in a store in a long time and have not seen since. I can’t bring myself to buy those tired, old gnarly green beans I usually see.

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I had not seen “store” beans this nice in years

I coated the prepped vegetables with mustard, coarse sea salt and Italian seasoning (I use a lot of Italian so I bought this big canister from Amazon & wrote on the date I opened it for reference).

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I put them on a big cookie sheet. When I go to this trouble I make A LOT so I get a couple days’ servings. Cook at 400° stirring occasionally till vegetables are tender/done.

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So good!

So, there was this

Earlier in the month I was, as I frequently do, walking through what amounts to our “town square”, an older, original part of the community that has a few basic shops and businesses, most of the non-chain variety, when I saw this.

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I do suspect that some of the people in town may be aliens but I’d never seen such hard core evidence before. With a little imagination I can picture the rest of the creature’s body hidden in the hedge. He has merely popped his head up to take a cautious look around before planning his infiltration.

 

 

 

Poly people

Those of you who either aren’t single or don’t live near or in an urban area may not be familar (I am just guessing here so correct me nicely if I’m wrong) with the “poly” lifestyle that has become more prevalent or at least more out in the open. Basically, it means having sexual/romantic attachments with two or more people at the same time – or being open to it – where everybody involved is supposed to know (differentiating it from cheating or affairs).

Before you think I’m going to tell you some juicy secret about me, let me assure you I am not! It’s on my mind though, and is from time to time because I’m curious about relationships and how people live, as well as how social mores change. When I was a child I never heard of any such thing and would not have understood if I had. I mean even sex without marriage was a foreign idea to child-me and shocking even. (I was both sheltered and naive.)

Many years back I was seeing a man who, starting early in our dating, “talked” about the polyamorous life. This was rather odd because the man himself seemed ill-suited to it and even pushed me for emotional and other commitments to him that I wasn’t prepared to give. I wasn’t seeing anyone else but did not relinquish the right by promising total loyalty to him. (You must trust that I had my reasons not to and was wisely not rushing anywhere I wasn’t so sure I wanted to go). I never really understood why he ever brought the subject up at all; he seemed theoretically interested in the subject but not at all interested in practicing it (at least at that time when he knew and was seeing me).

While I’m at this topic let me introduce a great word coined by sex writer Dan Savage, “monogamish” which is when two people are mostly monogamous with one another. That is, they have a primary relationship but it is acceptable for each to have other sexual relationships as well. The pair might have certain rules they’re expected to honor; “none of my friends”,  or “only when you’re on business trips”, or “I don’t want to know the details” for examples.

And yet again while I’m on this subject, let me introduce – if you don’t know it (I didn’t till a few years ago) – the word for being happy your partner is having sexual/romantic fun with other people, “compersion.” I gotta tell you, even though it doesn’t involve me and isn’t really my business to have an opinion, I don’t like this word or its concept. There’s something about it that strikes me as a bit smug and affected; as if a person is so evolved that they are above petty feelings like jealousy and competitiveness, and can afford to be sexually and emotionally magnanimous. I dunno – it just seems like a bit much. This probably isn’t helped by my introduction to the word by a man who told me he had felt “joyful compersion” when his girlfriend was sleeping with other guys – that is until she and her other guy fell in love and ran off. I don’t think I had the sympathetic response probably sought. I was thinking, “What did you expect??”

Anyway, I did no research to write this post. I don’t feel like it and if you want to learn more, Google awaits! This leads me to a thought that only occurred to me yesterday. I wondered what kind of people would be most inclined toward polyamorous relationships. See, I was specifically thinking they probably didn’t grow up in a big family where you could call little your own and were forced to share all the time or worse, get nothing. Where you rarely got to be the Center of Attention and had to compete for most everything, even kinda crummy stuff.  I concluded this must be why I’m a poor candidate for a polyamorous life!

A Walk (or two) in the Woods

I’m a pretty independent sort. Not only can I do things by myself, a lot of times I prefer it. That said, this past week I went on not one but TWO hikes in the woods in the company of groups. Both outings had splendid weather tucked into a week of mostly rain. Each was enjoyable in its way and each had a very different “feel” about it. It’s funny how that goes. For better and worse I am constantly absorbing and responding to the environments I find myself in. I know also, by being in them I am affecting said environments, hopefully contributing.

Anyway I took this photo on the second hike. Looking at it – independent of knowing where it actually is – I just want to set out down that path and see where it goes. Maybe it’s the sunlight casting its welcome rays on the trees ahead. I feel calmer just looking at this scene.

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Dear Person with Problems

Dear Person with Problems,

I am sorry you’ve had a bad time of it but frankly my interest in your problems ends at the point they begin to make PROBLEMS for me. See, what you don’t grasp is that my compassion, sympathy, and empathy are not endless wells. Oh yeah, once upon a time you might have played those angles and while it’s true my heart was more open then, I look out for myself more now which I think is a pretty good trade-off. You may not but toughening up has served me.

Why you think you are the only person in the world with problems or that your problems are more important – and thus deserve more exceptions and attention – I just don’t know. There’s nothing spectacular about you. You’re not saving the world, feeding the masses, curing diseases, or spreading joy wherever you go. Now somebody like that, they might get exceptions. “He’s a genius! Cut him a little slack already.” You’re not a genius. You. Are. Not. Special. And you know what? Your problems aren’t special either. Oh I know you THINK they are. But really, they are pretty mundane.

Every where you go your problems become other people’s problems. Directly or indirectly. You create a swath of issues in everything you touch. Nothing is easy with you. You make a mess of everything. But you never see your hand in it. It is always somebody’ else’s fault. The boss. The friend. The husband. The judge. The government. Your parents. The co-worker. The random stranger. They all make life so very rough for you. Poor you.

I am so, so very tired of you. Because you never go away. Every time I turn around, think life has quieted down a little and maybe we can all relax and have some peace for a minute, there you are. Making demands, complaining, drawing attention to yourself, barking, agitating, taking, stomping all over other people. It’s just the way you live. You don’t even know it. In fact, your self-awareness is sketchy at best. Yes, once in awhile you might allow that your life is abysmal and you aren’t happy but you soon default to your typical stance. Action without thought. Making your problems other people’s problems.

Most of us have bad days, days we say the wrong thing, take something out on someone, or otherwise chafe against other people. We all have problems and they do sometimes affect other people negatively. But that’s not you. This is how you are all the time. Every day is a bad day.

Now if you’re going to tell me about the miserable circumstances you grew up in, the poverty, the absent parent, the drugs, the rough neighborhood, the abuse or anything like that – and offer them as the excuse for your behavior – I will have little patience. If you’re going to tell me how nothing has ever worked out for you, that your dreams weren’t fulfilled, that your life hasn’t gone the way you’d have hoped – and use that as an excuse for your behavior – again I will have little patience. Do you really think everybody else has it so good? That all or most people are skipping along through life problem-free with jolly childhoods, fulfilled dreams, and constant successes?

I realize you aren’t thinking about the rest of us, you’re thinking about yourself, but I DON’T CARE. I’ve had it with you. Your problems have become such a nuisance and have permeated my existence to such an extent, that I no longer care about ANY of them. I can’t even give you my normal level of concern because I am so burnt out. I’d rather give what energy I have first to myself and then to other people who deserve it, people who are trying to live decently, asking for what they deserve, but generally trying not to make all of their problems someone else’s fault or responsibility. I have nothing for you. You take too much. Your problems don’t interest me.