I’ve been seeing a cute guy during the pandemic. He’s a hard worker with a great smile. He makes my life better & brings me lots of nice things. Sure, he’s half my age but I don’t mind. When I hear the squeaky brakes on his big, brown truck I know to run & get a cold bottle of water for my UPS man.😊
It was a new relationship and we were discussing intimacy.
HIM: “You can touch whenever it’s appropriate.”
[He thinks a moment]
HIM: “And even if it’s not as long as you don’t get caught.”
This was a long time ago. I was dating a guy who was several years younger than me. How many is up for debate; he was self-dramatizing and a chronic liar and I suspected he was younger than he said (I’d seen his i.d. and he had a convoluted explanation as to the discrepancy). Of course this makes him sound bad, as it should, but he was also smart, funny, and up for fun – which I enjoyed. Initially anyway, he seemed to be a kind, generous soul. Still, he was very young and had a lot of growing up to do. This was wildly demonstrated in one particular incident.
I had driven him back home to his apartment complex to drop him off. We were idling in the parking lot and having a mundane – i.e., about nothing all that important – dispute. He was acting badly and initially refused to get out of the car. I was ticked but held my temper while gripping the steering wheel. Eventually he did get out of the passenger seat. Wisely, I locked the doors because he began to throw a tantrum outside the car and attempted to open the door again. As I drove away this scene culminated, to my horror, with the sight of him in my rear view window throwing himself dramatically and bodily down onto the pavement in a fit.
It’s almost funny now. But I still cringe.
There was a short-lived TV show many years back starring the impeccable Richard Dreyfuss. His character was widowed I think, with a teenage daughter and worked in education. On one episode he said that women no longer paid attention to him at his age, they didn’t offer little smiles in passing and so on. In a culture so heavily weighted on female sexuality and its “shelf life” I just hadn’t thought how aging out of attractiveness and sexual viability might be for a man. I’ve never heard a man I know say anything like this, only that character, but it sounded true. It’s a loss for men too.
I dated a man who I concluded needed about half of what I was. Sort of like buying a phone or a computer or other major appliance with lots of bells and whistles you’ll never use. Better to get a more basic version.