When you’re in a relationship of any stripe (business, personal, intimate, etcetera) and the other person arbitrarily and without notice changes the rules of your engagement, to my mind that gives you license to change the terms as well, or at least to renegotiate them. Maybe you’d like to make a few changes your own damn self. I have found though, that the others don’t typically see it this way. They seem oblivious to the reality that their action doesn’t exist in a vacuum and that you might see their behavior as an opening or opportunity for a reciprocal move. They will act surprised and inconvenienced even if it’s said to them just as I have here.
I have found though, that the others don’t typically see it this way.
Yep. And isn’t it interesting to find out who thinks your relationship is only on their terms? 🤨
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Ally, yes, and what it suggests to me is that maybe they don’t really need/value me so very much OR they’re about to find out that they do. Or should have.
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Exactly.
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“Do as I say . . . not as I do.”
I am the captain here.”
“Respect my authority!”
Etc. 😆
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Right. That’s fine (I guess) if you sign on for it but don’t spring it on me & expect no consequences!😬
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I couldn’t agree more. I had a friend who called all the shots . . . fine (for awhile) until I decided to move outside the firing zone. I don’t know if she misses me.
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Yes, long ago I had a woman friend who had more of the “power” in the relationship & she was worth it to me. Then I got older & reconsidered.
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I thought that changing the rules is a red line we don’t have to cross. But damn… now you opened my eyes onto something new. Thanks!!
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I hope you don’t find yourself in such a situation. But people can be oblivious/wily/fickle/forgetful and a host of other things that might make ’em cross ye old red line.
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All so true.
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Thanks Becky. Another unfortunate-but-true scenario.
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Comforting yet sad how we all relate to this in some way. Hope these kind of relationships aren’t draining the joy and energy from your life!
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Oh no, Sharon, I am fine, thank you. It was a reflective post thinking back over years & situations. I thought it might be familiar to others too. When this happens I tend to “crack bad” not cower.
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