When you’re in a relationship of any stripe (business, personal, intimate, etcetera) and the other person arbitrarily and without notice changes the rules of your engagement, to my mind that gives you license to change the terms as well, or at least to renegotiate them. Maybe you’d like to make a few changes your own damn self. I have found though, that the others don’t typically see it this way. They seem oblivious to the reality that their action doesn’t exist in a vacuum and that you might see their behavior as an opening or opportunity for a reciprocal move. They will act surprised and inconvenienced even if it’s said to them just as I have here.
There’s a TV channel that appeared locally several years ago which features animal videos. I had no idea how many people kept raccoons in their homes on purpose. Raccoons frolicking on beds, raccoons playing with toys, raccoons enjoying a snack at the dining table. Where I am in suburbia, raccoons are furtive animals that root through garbage cans, tear up yards, and muddy the bird bath. I wouldn’t have thought they’d even like the cosseted indoor life.
Sometimes when reading Amazon’s “Top picks” for me, items they believe I’ll want, I think, “It’s like you don’t know me at all!”😩
Do you ever think less of someone after you see or meet their spouse, significant other, or partner? I do. I’m equal opportunity judgmental, thinking to myself, “You married her?” or “That’s your boyfriend?”
There are those who KNOW their partner is bad news so they apologize for the person or try to mitigate the other person’s behavior. It doesn’t help, not really.
Who a person has chosen to share their life with speaks volumes, revealing what they value and how they see themselves, among other things. It influences their life’s trajectory. I bear this in mind myself.
If someone tried to talk me out of my vote for Biden by saying it had been discovered he’d participated in human sacrifice, I might ask, “Did he make a habit of it or was it just the one time?”