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Things Men Have Said To Me (#30)

It was a new relationship and we were discussing intimacy.

HIM: “You can touch whenever it’s appropriate.”

[He thinks a moment]

HIM: “And even if it’s not as long as you don’t get caught.”

My Kinda, Sorta New Year’s Resolutions 2019

As I did last year I’ve decided on a few, albeit not exactly typical, goals for the year. I actually started on them in the last week or so of December; I didn’t see any reason to wait. The thing about goals is you want to make them specific, so it’s not “lose weight” for example, but “walk thirty minutes three times a week” if that’s an area you want to improve. I find it’s very helpful to write things down and in 2018 it gave me real satisfaction to keep adding entries to the simple lists I kept on loose leaf paper.

First is to read 20 books, same as last year. (I read 30 in 2018 after all was said and done.)
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I want to try yoga so my first goal is to do the Sun Salutation fifty times. There’s a couple variations of it; the link is to a 10-pose version but the one I’ve been doing has 12 positions. Doing the poses takes about a minute and I repeat them five times; it doesn’t take long at all. It’s a matter – for me – of slowing myself down and making a point of doing it.
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In addition, I will also commit to doing 30 minutes of yoga 25 times. I found a one-inch thick (this matters) yoga mat on Amazon for $10 so I’m all set. If I do more yoga, that’s fine, but the idea is to get started and see how it affects me. One thing I’ve already noticed is my obvious exhaling while doing yoga (and other stretching type exercise). I think it’s a kind of de-stressing exhaling. Have I been – has my response to recent life been – “holding my breath”? I think maybe so.
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If I can get a hold of it I want to try the New York Times Crossword. I am in a regular crossword habit but that is one I haven’t tried yet.

I plan(ned) to get rid of fifteen things.
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HOWEVER I started on this at the end of December and, having had the time and energy for this project, I’ve actually already gotten rid of – give away, recycle, throw away – over 50 things! I don’t know what I was thinking when in an earlier post I shared my concern that I thought, given how many things I’ve already shed in years past, that 15 might be a tricky goal. Man, was I wrong. Most of the stuff is little things but it doesn’t matter. There is such a relief in shedding excess. I am giving my belongings a very hard look. When you stay in one place a long time as I have, vigilance is key, even when the place isn’t big.

Examples of stuff I got rid of:
– 4 belts I don’t wear
– 3 extra large glass peanut jars with no lids
– 1 full-size piece of foam
– A rusting finch feeder
– A small bag of jewelry
– A small bag of boards
– An extra aluminum water bottle
– 2 wire baskets
– A broken night guard case
and on like that.

I started and will finish a CD set on conversational Italian – and then I’ll decide if I want to try any others.

I’m going to watch the Marx Brothers movies (again). My life could use more levity. I already watched A Night in Casablanca which I checked out from the library. I think I can find several others through the library system also.

This isn’t exactly a goal but I’m going to keep track of the DVDS (and series) I watch. I LOVE movies and I watch a lot that I’m able to check out from the public library but I couldn’t tell you how many I watch in a year for instance – I just don’t know. And how is my DVD watching compared to my book reading? Should there be a ratio? One book for every four hours of DVDs or something like that? Until I nail down how much I typically watch I won’t know if I should set a goal around this issue. I adore movies. Did I mention that?!

My food/cooking goals aren’t elaborate for 2019. I would like to try Thai cooking. I made a Thai salad (coleslaw, green onions, lime, cilantro, amino acids, roasted peanuts) this past year that I loved – lime, cilantro & peanuts, especially combined, sing to me. I’d love to find other simple dishes that use these flavors. I think I’d also like to try making Pupusas – I just saw them on a PBS show featuring various restaurants and I think I’d really like them. In a future blog I’ll share the Thai coleslaw recipe and if I can tweak a pupusa recipe to make it healthy (perhaps less oil, for instance), I’ll share that.

It is easy, if you let yourself, to drift. Okay, I’ve noticed it in me. In 2018 I felt ready to make changes. I recovered my reading habit and made new recipes. This year I will add yoga to my life, continue shedding excess belongings, keep reading, and make sure I’m challenging myself, intellectually and physically. And I am damn sure going to have some levity.

NOTE: I apologize in advance for a delay in responding to any comments to this post. I DO want to hear what you have to say.

Tweaking my bedroom decor

I made small updates to my bedroom last week, primarily the wall behind the bed.

I wasn’t totally satisfied with the picture I had there seen in this post and have tried a different one since but it wasn’t quite right either. I was trying to use what I have and not buy anything. I think, though, that the wall needs something large and bold. I was hoping I might think of a clever thing to make but that hasn’t happened (yet?). I did make the “headboard” from cast-off IKEA shelves; the bed is a full-size futon and the frame has no headboard or place to attach one so mine is merely nailed to the wall.

My dream artwork is a large, like 4′ wide picture of the woods in summer, whether it’s a framed poster or a photo-on-canvas, either of which would be pricey. Second choice would be the same idea but featuring the ocean. In the meantime I needed an improvement so I used what I have and did another idea entirely.
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The mirrors were a set of three I found at Ross a year or so ago for $7. I got the center piece with the moon for $6 also from Ross several years back; previously I hung it from a hook in the corner of the ceiling. (As it’s heavy and I didn’t use a molly bolt or anything I was kind of half expecting the moon to fall down from the ceiling and knock me silly one day.😕)
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The long blue tealight holder (featuring a smiling sun & butterflies) on the right was another great $5 Ross deal that I’ve had many years. The white lantern to the left of the bed is new. I bought a hanging lamp cord a couple years ago thinking I could make my own hanging lamp and save money. Well, nothing I tried worked, either the shade got too hot or the bulb was too blinding. I’d occasionally look on Amazon for cheap shades and finally found this pretty 12″ round lace one in August for $3. I love it. The light cast from it is so cheerful and pretty and this winter pick-me-up was a lot less expensive than the pricey SAD lamps I routinely look at online.
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I think it’s so important, especially for someone like me, to have a beautiful, comfortable home. I spend a lot of time in my bedroom, and over time it’s become a very decent space that suits both my practical and creative sides. I love to sit in my chair and and look around – walking into the room and being greeted by the bed and its wall as I have it now immediately gives me a kind of calming lift.

1/1/19: I’m editing this post to show another idea I thought of yesterday after posting. I have it plugged into a tap with switch. They are great!
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Things Men Have Said To Me (#29)

ME: “In some ways I trust you a lot, in other ways not at all.”

HIM: “That’s because you’re smart.”

Short Thought 226

I once read that in a relationship if men don’t know what to do they do nothing. This rings true to my experience.

It occurs to me that if women don’t know what to do they try one thing, and if that doesn’t work they try another thing, and if that doesn’t work they try yet another thing until one day they are spent and flatly refuse to do anything more.