I don’t want to live in the past, but I am frequently disoriented by modern technology. See, I’m a bit fanciful (for someone typically given to level-headedness as well as regular bouts of irreverence), so I tend to imagine impossible things. Some of it’s fairly mundane and commonplace, like momentarily thinking I can fast-forward through TV commercials, or rewind to catch a bit of dialogue or replay a juicy scene on an old TV set that features no bells, whistles, cables, or contracts. When I catch my mistake, I feel both disoriented and a bit put out, as if I’ve been tricked. But tricked by who?
I want blocking and other features to be available places they aren’t, such as places online which is kinda understandable, but also in walking-down-the-street real life scenarios, which is nonsensical. Before blocking, there was mere avoidance. Avoidance seems so yesterday! While I don’t wish anyone dead or anything dire like that (although I’m not above feeling if certain people went away and didn’t come back, I wouldn’t be sorry), I do wish at times that it was possible to block real-life individuals (some possibly dangerous, some merely irritating). I try to shake off such ideas, but can’t. The wires are crossed – my imagination merged onto the super highway and can’t find an exit.
These feelings are much like those few groggy seconds when I wake up from a flying dream and feel confused and then disappointed that flapping my arms and concentrating won’t allow me to take flight. The feeling soon passes: You can’t fly and that’s that, but it’ll still return another day and at some level, I remain put out, even though realistically there’s no one to be put out with.
I know I’m not alone in picking up a remote and spending minutes pushing every button and waving it around at an appliance it isn’t assigned to. Why isn’t it working? Are the batteries bad? Worse, I get urges to point remotes in situations they don’t apply, on things (and people) they don’t work on. Why can’t I point a remote and press mute to make a blowhard or someone spouting venom, stop talking? Or change channels to at least switch topics? My brain is telling my fingers to press buttons on phantom remotes. One of these days I may just slip right off and start pointing imaginary remotes at people.