He drank whenever we went out. He offered, after the issue came up, that he would limit his drinks to three. I remember thinking that was a good and fair concession. I’d like to go back and have a talk with that woman.
We’d recently met. I was in my early thirties; he was a shade younger. He was a Captain in the Army; I worked part-time. I had a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich shop near him so we met there for lunch. After we’d eaten and the bill came, I split the cost in half and told him his share.
HIM (seeming confused): “But mine should be the free sandwich.”
I looked to see if he was joking. I’d driven to meet him and brought a coupon that essentially gave us each a half-price sandwich and he now didn’t think he should pay anything. He wasn’t joking.
ME (explaining politely): “To be fair, we should each pay half of the price of one sandwich so we both get the discount.”
He reluctantly handed me the few bills. I could tell from his face he still thought he was somehow being cheated.
He seemed like the kind of guy who, if he asked a woman out, might show up for the date with an unexpected van full of people.
We’d been seeing each other about 2 months. Previously in conversation, I’d told him that for holidays I needed one of two things: to be with people I cared about OR an activity I’d enjoy.
HIM (informing): “My sister has invited us for Christmas with my family. I told her we would come.” (I had not met them.)
ME: “You can’t answer for me. ….And how is that one of the two things I said I needed for a holiday?”
HIM: (no response)
He was forty-ish; I was younger. We’d only been out once or twice. I wasn’t too sure how I felt about him. In a phone call, he suggested we go swimming. Not to a beach, or lake, or private pool, or water park where there’d be fun rides or whatever it is people do at water parks. No. He wanted us to go to a new indoor athletic center with lap lane swimming. It sounded odd. He didn’t even sweeten the deal by saying something like ‘let’s go lap swimming and then I’ll take you to lunch.’
HIM: “It’s not just because I want to see you in a swimsuit either.”
(The swimsuit motive – which, phrased that way, sounded more skeevy than tempting and was better left unmentioned entirely – hadn’t occurred to me till he said that. I vetoed this particular “date.”)