This afternoon I headed out to the local big, chain grocery store. I wanted to get a couple things now (I had a few most excellent coupons!) and then avoid the place with its crowds and chaos till after Thanksgiving.
I buy Amazon gift cards to use on their website (that way I’m not using anything with my name on it for security) so I stopped to look at the extensive gift card display in the store. It’s so big it covers TWO sides of a aisle and the “end cap” as well. I couldn’t see all the cards though, because there were these huge stuffed bears (I guess for Christmas?) sitting atop the tall display, with their legs hanging over blocking gift cards.
I wanted to see if there was another denomination card behind one of the bear’s legs so I just reached to shift the leg to the side and you guessed it – the whole bear started to move! I tried to grab at him but it was useless as momentum took over and the bear fell down onto the floor. I started laughing at this stupid bear at my feet. There were people all around but nobody was paying me any mind. I half-expected employees to come running, but no, it was me and the bear. I got him off the floor but there was no way I could return him to his seated position because he was too unwieldy and the top of the display was just too high. I couldn’t just walk away since his leap to the floor was instigated by me and I wasn’t about to start hauling him around in search of a useful employee.
Instead I took hold of his head with one hand and his nether region with the other and HEAVED him upward over my head. It was the best I could do. I put back a sign and a gift card I’d knocked down and got the hell away from there before anything else happened.