Drug(s) of choice

Drugs were never my thing. I remember back in high school the way many people drifted through their days stoned out of their gourds. Red-eyed and slow-witted they were, which I did not want to be (although a pair of crappy hard contact lens that I wore then did redden my eyes which led classmates to frequently accuse me of being high. Grrr.). Anyway, like I was saying, stoned-n-stupid didn’t appeal to me. I liked my mind and wanted to keep it the way it was not spaced-out and fried the way I saw it affect others. Nothing about smoking weed looked attractive or tempting.

When cocaine became a fairly commonplace drug, I have to admit the high it was said to give did sound rather appealing – that is, the euphoric feeling of confidence that you could do anything. Mind racing with ideas, getting stuff done. Going UP and happy as opposed to DOWN and mellow. No, no, never tried it. I wouldn’t have on my no-drugs philosophy but maybe because I thought I might like something like that (give me a healthy, unharmful, non-addictive equivalent and I expect I’d be all over it like a happy clam. The effect of sunshine is the closest I’ve come). I should mention that my cheap frugal ways always made me a poor candidate for a drug habit had I even wanted one.

I bring the above talk about drugs up because I was thinking how I keep my addictive, compulsive leanings to fairly benign areas. For instance, I cannot have potato chips, fritos©, tortilla chips, doritos©, candy, cake, donuts, pie, ice cream, or anything of that ilk in my house. Basically any sweet, salty, or greasy treat. Can’t do it. Not unless I’ve made peace with the idea that I’m going to gobble it up in short order. Now people look at me – tall, lean, athletic – and don’t believe it. But it’s true. I let myself buy a bag of potato chips about twice a year. I stand in the grocery aisle and read the back label. Typically, it’ll say something like 150 calories per serving and “10” servings per bag. Yes, most of us know that servings business on snacks is laughable (like it’ll say 7 or 8 chips is a serving). I do the quick, basic math and I pretty much know I’ll be wolfing down a not-especially-healthy, extra 1500 calories in about 2 days. I don’t kid myself about how I’ll “ration” it out and “make it last”. When I do buy it, I generally have enough willpower to make a bag into 2 or 3 servings – i.e,, making it last 2 or 3 days – but no more than that.

It’s the same story with any other (rare) treat I bring home. I become obsessed with its presence. I cannot forget if there is a frozen Pepperidge Farm© cake. Or a bag of tortilla chips in the cabinet. Or some Turkey Hill© icecream in the freezer. They are like the beating heart in Poe’s wall, thumping loudly, beckoning to me, impossible to ignore. Sometimes I shove them to the back of the shelf and move other foods (like a nice bag of frozen broccoli or a bag of flour) in front of them so I don’t see my temptresses. If I see them, forget it.

When I visit other people’s homes and they actually muse over whether or not they have a bag of chips, for example, I am shocked. How can they not know if they have potato chips?!? Or maybe they have an abandoned box of donuts sitting on the counter. Who are these people?!? Clearly not me.

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25 thoughts on “Drug(s) of choice

  1. vanbytheriver

    Preaching to the choir, Colette, especially re potato chips. My fix of choice is original Lay’s. A few months ago, I got a bad bag. They were all brownish and curled in half. I wrote to Frito Lay, they were very nice, said it must have been a fluke batch, sent me coupons for 2 free bags, any size and $1. off of 4 more. I used them all. And they were all perfect. It was a greasy, salty summer and I have the few extra lb’s to show for it. No regrets.

    Sugar…different story. We often discard freezer burned ice cream. I like to bake, but prefer pies to cake/cookies. Pepperidge Farm coconut cake is the exception….long time favorite. ❤️

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Oh man, free & discounted chips?! Talk about a siren song. Old icecream?! Never! A couple times I got a carton and immediately cut out half for myself & gave the other half away to a neighbor. (Once I immediately put half a carton down the drain even!) Pepperidge Farm cakes frequently go on sale at my local grocery store plus there’s often a newspaper coupon. Nuthin’ but trouble! I make my own healthy treats and this keeps me away from store stuff. Mostly.

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      1. vanbytheriver

        I had a friend years ago who had a habit of eating a bit too much out of the ice cream carton. To cover it up, she’d go out and buy a new one, and eat down to the original amount she started with…???? In her 60’s now, she’s not overweight. I was surprised at that one. The things we do…

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  2. foguth

    Potato Chips could live here for ages, but pita chips, sweet potato chips or banana chips are gone a.s.a.p. I do agree on the drug bit – am not even sure I trust medication that is prescribed.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Yeah, I’m pretty drug-avoidant, even with prescriptions. Isn’t it funny how we’re all wired so differently when it comes to things that call our name? My weakness is more salt than sweet but once I start either, the switch is flipped. Pita chips & sweet potato chips look heavenly but they are pricey!

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      1. foguth

        Yes, they are pricy, but a delicious once-in-a-great while treat. I got hooked on banana chips when we were in Central America – they are served down there, like french fries, which is understandable, since bananas grow in the Tropics, while potatoes don’t.

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  3. Kate Crimmins

    So funny. I just threw out a bag of year old Hershey kisses that were out in the open. I do keep potato chips on hand because it’s a vegetable (I don’t want to hear differently) and works with burgers. I like salty but I can pass up sweet. Mostly.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Oh my. I shall mourn the Hershey kisses from afar! If I have a pike of chips on a plate with other food, like a sandwich, I have to remind myself to pay attention to the other items. I’m with you; more salt than sugar – if forced to choose!

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  4. markbialczak

    You’re one up on life, knowing your weaknesses so well, Colette. Good job. Lately I’ve been hankering for (and trying to buy just the little 50-cent bags, two per week) Cheetoh’s. Puffed, not crunchy.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Mmmm.I honestly have no idea when I last let myself eat Cheetos. 20+ years? I have found some success with little bags of things because you know you’re crossing a line if you tear into a second one.

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  5. Choosing

    A bag of chips lasting a couple of days? No chance. I mean, still sealed it can sit in the cupboard for some time, that is possible. But once opened, Husband and I finish it. Full stop. Generally speaking Husband is the one that buys the chips and I am the one that buys the ice cream. And then I help him eating the chips to battle my sugar addiction. 😉 Although I have to say we both try to live healthy from time to time, meaning not buying the stuff. Problem is that our efforts do not always coincide… so while I try to be healthy he buys the chips… and vice versa. 😉

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      I would have A LOT of trouble resisting if someone else was bringing in treats! It is hard enough to close a bag… The way I stay honest (i.e., healthy) is I jot on the calendar any time I have a treat, what it was and how much. I made a bag of corn chips last 3 days last week – only ones I had this year.[sad face]

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