How a Narcissist Sees YOU

I was thinking about how I have a Trail of Narcissists in my past. I didn’t think of them – certain individuals – that way at the time(s) but after study and reflection, it became clear that I had a pattern of bringing such people into my life. (Now that I’m fully aware of it, I’m much better at spotting them – and moving along.)

Narcissism is a contemporary word in the sense that our current usage is different than it used to be; it has evolved. I grew up understanding it to be self-love in the gazing-at-your-reflection-“I’m-so-fabulous-way.” Which is not entirely accurate. The truer definition is more that of a person whose self-view encompasses both love and loathing. A person so consumed with their own feelings they can see no one else’s. Other people are props onto which the narcissist projects their (narrow) view. This is by way of explaining how this image came to mind:

You can try to get them to see you as a "square" all you like. Not gonna happen.

You can try to get them to see you as a “square” all you like. Not gonna happen.

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23 thoughts on “How a Narcissist Sees YOU

      1. entropy

        My father says that he loves me. That was the only mitigating factor that made me doubt it. I think he means it. However, I can’t shake the shivers that he has pathalogical genes to that respect. Narcissist, but not completely, or something like that…

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      You’re right Kate. I think a lot of us start out taking people at face value and believe what turns out to be a dog & pony show. Flattery, charm, et al. can be quite persuasive.

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  1. moylomenterprises

    So true!
    My ex was one. The only time he was nice and loving is when things were done his way. I don’t think he really liked himself and he certainly didn’t appreciate that I loved him he simply assumed I was only with him because I wanted something. Truth is I simply wanted him but he was too blinded by his twisted thinking to see it. Sad…

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      1. vanbytheriver

        I think Narcissism was at the root of all of my mother’s problems. She was a spoiled brat city child, a rebellious teen, frivolous young flirt as an adult. She then got sidetracked with my dad, who moved her to the country and changed her world. She made him pay for isolating her.(Philly kids never have to learn to drive). She became so dependent on him, and later on us, and it was horrible to witness. Being misplaced and housebound, with 6 very independent and demanding children, would drive any narcissist crazy. She caved, early and often. There you go….☺

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          1. vanbytheriver

            I would be surprised if she really considered how different life would be. I was never convinced that she wanted children. As a strict Catholic, birth control was out of the question in 1950’s. So..we happened. ☺

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  2. Dennis Wagoner

    My wife’s sister and her husband are both narcissists and they feed off each other. It is so bad for everyone that I am not sure anyone really socializes with them anymore. It is really sad, but neither of them the ability to see how their personalities are driving everyone away.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      That inability to see the damage they’re doing seems to be a key point in narcissists. Explaining, and explaining, and explaining to them gets nowhere because they just don’t respond like other people do. I’m sure it’s hard for your wife.

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