I wrote these two short entries back in 2005 for a friend of a friend. Evidently, she’d had been feeling brought down by criticism. I passed this along through my friend. I never heard anything more about it but I kept a copy.
Other People’s Opinions
Your opinion of yourself should not be unduly influenced by others’ opinions, be it praise or criticism. The goal is to have a self-opinion* which is relatively stable, neither too inflated by compliments nor too deflated by negativity. Moreover, you should choose whose opinions are worthwhile to you; judge the source before taking them to heart. All opinions are NOT created equal…
Self-knowledge is CRUCIAL – If you do not know who you are you remain susceptible to others’ interpretations and definitions. There will ALWAYS be people waiting to tell you (especially as a woman) who you are or SHOULD be. If you are pleasing everyone, then you do not yet have self-knowledge. Self-knowledge comes at cost, but lack of it is costlier. Over-dependency on anyone or anything will always circumvent self-knowledge as the dependency defines you first. Self-knowledge must be treasured and defended when necessary.