Short Post 98 (re connecting)

All my life, I’ve had people try to reconnect with me; this while blatantly ignoring the smoldering bridge between us, the one they poured gasoline on, tossed matches onto, roasted marshmallows on, for chrissakes. “What? That there? That’s nothing. Look away. No big deal. Nothing bad – or all that bad – happened here. You misunderstood. What are you making such a big deal about? I miss you. I want to be friends.

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15 thoughts on “Short Post 98 (re connecting)

  1. mariezhuikov

    Not sure if he actually said this or not, but I’ve heard Einstein credited with saying that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Sometimes you just have to stop the insanity! (And consorting with people who have burned bridges with you.) It can be tempting sometimes, though….

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      (I think I usually see that attributed to him but think it’s one that’d have lots of “authors!”)

      It’s the crazy-making way people have of trying to convince you your complaints aren’t legit. It forces your hand; who ya gonna believe, them or you?

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  2. Jim Link

    Oh yes, I agree with the cautions given above, Colette……The bridge-burners have a subtle – or not so subtle – way of denigrating YOUR feelings, emotions, experiences, values. They want you to return to the friendship on THEIR terms, rigging the game against you. Extreme example : a battered woman returns to abusive lover after he melts in tears and promises to change. BUT no new routines, rules or behaviors are established…..Result? Same huge contempt and suffering……..

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Yes, oftentimes even if “new” rules are laid down, people have a way of not sticking to them – they already know what they can get away with and look for someone’s weak points to go back to “how things were.”

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Ha ha on the apropos humminas! I expect however that most people consider themselves the wronged party when relationships disconnect or end. The key, I have found is simply in what I am able to live with, which happens to be less than it used to.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      This seems like a good spot to say that sometimes these are people one regularly encounters, like neighbors, co-workers and relatives. Not so cut and dry then unfortunately.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Well, I’m thinking of different people at different times and while allowing, Andrew, that your point-on questions are likely rhetorical, I think it happens when people stop being pissed (about whatever), and start reflecting fondly on a) what they’re missing and/or b) what they think/imagine they’re missing.

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