Short Thought 93 (loss)

When someone dies – maybe the more so when they are sick first and then die – and there’s all the stuff to do, with hospitals, funeral homes, church services, memorials, travel, lodgings, and luncheons, it can feel like time drags on and on and you might wish it would all just be over already. Later though, maybe months, maybe years, it seems like it all went by in a flash. Strange to be almost nostalgic for such unpleasant business but I think it’s because that’s the last time we were close to the diseased.

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13 thoughts on “Short Thought 93 (loss)

  1. vanbytheriver

    I have buried both parents, and recently, my youngest sister after a battle with MS. I have always appreciated all the “busy-ness” associated with funeral arrangements and family visitors. I think it helps the process. It is the months that follow when grief truly sets in…so intense; it does make you miss the closeness of the memorials.

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  2. katecrimmins

    When I was young, I used to think that funerals were barbaric. An open coffin, with people saying inane things. Now I can appreciate that all as part of the closure. The husband of one of my friends said he wanted nothing and that’s what he got. I felt like I had missed the train. It was more awkward to tell her how sorry I was when we had lunch than at a place where she was prepared to hear that. I have to think about what I want for myself. My husband has already told me what he wants (nothing). As I tell him, if he goes first, he’s at my mercy.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      I understand. I do think funerals are for the living. I wish they hadn’t become such a homogenized, semi-sanitized, expensive business, though.

      I too have had the experience of wanting some kind of formality – a way to “say goodbye” and offer condolences in a situation where there was no funeral, no nothing (for a well-known, liked man). It feels weird to go on as if nothing happened.
      I want something casual, nothing religious, and have written it down. I’ll take nothing over the multi-day, viewings, funeral home, church service, car processional to cemetery, etc.

      I wonder if your husband has promised to haunt you if you don’t go along with his plan!

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      1. katecrimmins

        I’ll have a nice party with music from his era. The best funeral I went to was also the most tragic. The 30-something son of a friend was hit by a train. He was buried in a college sweatshirt to the tunes of the Eagles, Beatles, and other wonderful music. With all this playing it was really hard to be downbeat.

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