Things Men Have Said To Me (#10)

He was forty-ish; I was younger. We’d only been out once or twice. I wasn’t too sure how I felt about him. In a phone call, he suggested we go swimming. Not to a beach, or lake, or private pool, or water park where there’d be fun rides or whatever it is people do at water parks. No. He wanted us to go to a new indoor athletic center with lap lane swimming. It sounded odd. He didn’t even sweeten the deal by saying something like ‘let’s go lap swimming and then I’ll take you to lunch.’

HIM: “It’s not just because I want to see you in a swimsuit either.”

(The swimsuit motive – which, phrased that way, sounded more skeevy than tempting and was better left unmentioned entirely – hadn’t occurred to me till he said that. I vetoed this particular “date.”)

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16 thoughts on “Things Men Have Said To Me (#10)

  1. battlewagon13

    From a male perspective – I don’t know that he was necessarily being skeevy. From my thinking if I suggested that I would immediately jump to the conclusion that the woman would think that I WAS trying to just see them in a bathing suit – so would mention that. Of course I’m a neurotic mess but I don’t see it as necessarily bad.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      Well-reasoned and I hear ya brother. In and of itself, FAR from the skeeviest I’ve encountered, but this particular man already wasn’t impressing me as being a particularly sincere individual (neurotic trumps insincere).

      He should have mentioned lunch. I am just saying.

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  2. Dennis Wagoner

    This is kind of similar to the ‘not dating you just for your looks’ comment – maybe a bit sleezier though! Perhaps the reason for no lunch date, he was concerned that you shouldn’t swim on a full stomach. You know – the ‘I’m concerned for your health’ ploy.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      That musta been it, thoughtfulness!

      You are right in the similarity between the 2 comments – good eye – that’s what I thought too. Their relative oddness was what made me remember them years after they were said.

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  3. Andrew Davis

    Okay, so you don’t know how you feel about him and he probably feels the same. Not sure but not uncurious. He likes to swim, say, and would like to offer one of his interests to you. Possibly even imagining you swimming with him in a bathing suit, slowly percolating in his attraction to you. The comment he made I interpreted as a hackneyed attempt to say “hey, I kinda like you but I don’t want to put it out there because I’m not sure how you feel so let’s try and finesse the awkward do you like me question with a playful joke.”
    This possibility is more intriguing since the creep alternative is such low hanging fruit.
    Either way you slice it, guys often have trouble expressing what they want.

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    1. writerinsoul Post author

      I didn’t think he was a creep but an insincere sort.

      Timing is all with comments like this;something that would likely be seen as playful in month 3 could sound skeevy on Date 2.

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  4. Pingback: Things Men Have Said To Me (#21) | WriterInSoul

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