I wanna be a Poster Child

I want to be the face of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Most of you probably know what that is, but briefly, it’s getting low and listless in Fall and then perking up again in Spring, based on exposure to light. Lots of conditions and disorders have a “poster child” but I can’t think of anybody associated with Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’m a pretty ideal candidate because my case is neither too extreme (I don’t need drugs to so much as get up or feel like ending it) nor so mild (I’ll never say “Oh, um, is the sun not out? I hadn’t noticed”) as to not be relatable to the average person.

They could come take pictures of me in November, staring glumly at the wall, maybe a half-eaten piece of dry toast sitting on the table at my side, or watching comedy DVDS and flatly commenting, “I don’t see why that’s supposed to be funny.” In March or April, they could get shots of me digging in the garden, waving at strangers, juggling squirrels, singing badly along to pop songs, and saying saccharine things like “Wow! What a gorgeous day! Makes you feel glad to be alive!”

I got this down. Where do I apply?!

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